I'm Back, and Angry!

...and its not just because of those god damned commercials on Pandora.

So here's round two on blogging. Why am I crawling back to an arena that I completely gave up on before? First: I've found that writing consistently makes me better at it. I learned this the hard way when I sat down to start writing my Senior Thesis paper a couple weeks ago and forgot how to begin typing words. Secondly, I'm working on a new, positive approach to life, and I believe that reflection is important for putting events in perspective and expressing gratitude for all that good shit that does exist.

With this being said, I'm as angry as ever, but, for a nice change of pace, its not directed at anyone who actually participates in my life. Right now, I'm mad at Obama, NYPD, and the mainstream media, just to name a few. You can probably guess whats up. Occupy Wall Street yo! I'm completely and totally bummed that I'm not in New York for this. If my school didn't have the strictest attendance policy in the world (and probably out of it,) I'd have bought a plane ticket and been there in a second. But hey, if they're still occupying when winter break comes around, I'm there. Yeah, we've got Occupy LA, but its a little, errr... disorganized. Also we can't chill outside Bernie Madoff's house.

This whole movement makes me so happy, and, dare I say it, hopeful.  For too long, the richest 1% of the country has controlled the majority of it's wealth. And I've had it. Whats awesome is that everyone's had it, and they're making their voices heard. Check out Global Revolution for streaming coverage of peaceful protests around the world. Fair warning, its inspiring at some points, and downright awful at others. Footage of NYPD officers punching girls in the face at random? check. But hey, the truth hurts, right?

Tomorrow, October 15th is being called the Global Day of Action. I can't wait to see what goes down on Wall Street, I have a feeling it'll be huge. Guess what, fellow 99%ers? We're the ones that are too big to fail.

Right Here All Over (Occupy Wall St.) from Alex Mallis on Vimeo.

Enraged.

'Ello Loves.

I know I've been absent from the blogging world for quite some time now. I tell you, summer and computers just don't mix; I've been too enthralled with the delightful weather to really want to sit down and write anything. That and I just turned 21.  I'm sure everyone has missed my bleeding heart liberal rants, but that's not to say my heart hasn't been bleeding. I realized recently that I differ from most young girls in the fact that all of the men who have broken my heart are politicians. Remember this? Yeah, I'm still crying over that one.  More recently, I've found myself lying face down, utterly defeated by the state of the debt ceiling negotiations. And you can bet your ass that I've got something mean to say about that sham of a deal. But for now, lets get mad about something a little more fun. Perhaps I should say, let's rage.

Because I saw Rage Against the Machine last weekend. Yeah, fucking Rage. At the Coliseum. And holy hell, the Coliseum is huge. I've never been surrounded by so many people in my life, thus adding to the reasons I'm not going to a rave with you. I'd been stoked for this show since May. I bought my ticket the day they went on sale, and if not for some bad judgement counting tequila shots the night before, I probably could've gotten a GA ticket on ticketmaster before they sold out. I only remembered to buy tickets 6 hours late, but fortunately, I was able to find one on StubHub for a decent-ish amount of money. General Admission is always worth the investment, can you even imagine going to see rage and sitting down for it? I sure hope not. But lets rewind this story about 2 hours.

Besides Rage, a ton of (shitty) bands were scheduled to play this event, aptly titled LA Rising. Since, as you all know, I'm a productive, full-time employed contributing member of society, I had work earlier in the day, and therefore took a nap before heading to an on-my-feet-for-hours-event; I missed Rise Against, and I think my life is better for it. The long walk from my car to the entrance was littered with people asking if I was selling tickets, because apparently going to shows on your own isn't normal. Segue: I paid all of $1 for parking, so suck it everyone who shelled out 25 for Coliseum event parking. As always, I am the most impatient motherfucker you'll see waiting in line for a show, or anything, for that matter. I waited watching people get awkwardly pat down, bags searched halfheartedly, until finally it was my turn. As much as I am always tempted to make a scene during pat downs, (remember that Amy Poehler TSA skit?) I behaved myself better than usual as I got to 2nd base with a stern female security guard. I presented my ticket to the next guard, eager to claim my spot in GA.

He scans, and I prepare to walk through. What? I can't? Have I been in before? Fuck no, I just got here! I'm redirected to the Will Call booth. I'm getting fucked, aren't I? I walked to the booth, in absolute disbelief that I might not see the show. The people at will call know nothing. Pretty sure I just got fucked. Enter iPhone. I open my email and search for the confirmation for the ticket. Call StubHub customer service. Annihilate the cheery woman who answers with a barrage of obscenities. Quickly transferred to head of customer service. Mike in the Rochester office tells me to calm down. I try. He's given me a full refund. He puts me on hold as he contacts sellers in the area. 10 minutes later. No one has tickets. Are they selling tickets at the event? Yeah, but GA's sold out. My ticket was GA. Fuck. Search through bag. Pick through the wad of cash I threw in with my ID. $81. Cheapest tickets: $71. Fine. About to sit in the goddamn nosebleeds during a Rage show. Fucking lame. But I'm seeing it. Small consolation, I guess.

Another slightly awkward pat down. Show my ticket, get let in. Ticket says Gate 19. I'm at Gate 4. Time to trek. I dodge people like a fucking acrobatic pro, weaving through the crowd to get to what will most certainly be a horrible seat. Approaching Gate 19, I think to myself, why not try to use this bunk ticket to get into GA? Its worth a shot. I ask the security guard if I can get to GA from this gate. Nope, Gate 11. Let's head back. Glad I didn't work out earlier, I'd be dead on my frustrated feet. Finally there. Gate 11 is a long tunnel down to the field. Anticipation mounts, I know I'm supposed to have a wristband to be here. I'll play the slightly attractive lost girl card now. I walk down the steps, approaching the final hurdle to my GA dreams. 2 guards. Now 3. Checking wristbands. Fuck. I've got this GA ticket, can I get in? Ok, where do I get a wristband? Back up there? Ah, I see. Perfect timing feakout dude. Yelling at the guards: No, seriously I have to see a medic! Your ailment has been significantly beneficial, I think, as I slip past security and bury myself within the crowd. Mission accomplished.

So, If reading's not your thing (why are you here?) and you skipped to the end of this, the moral of the story is as follows: Originally paid 185 for a ticket, ticket was a sham, got refunded said $185. Paid 71 and saw the show the exact same way I would've if my first ticket was legit. Hashem would be proud of that $114 I saved. Advantage: Ratchel.

All above photos via We Are Party Animals because I'm sure as shit not gonna take out my phone in the pit at RATM.

Side Note: StubHub  Customer Service is home to some of the nicest, most helpful people I've ever spoken to. Despite the issues with the ticket, I will continue purchasing on StubHub because of how amazing they were to me during what I thought would become a truly horrific experience. This is my official recommendation for StubHub.com, they are truly fantastic and really understand the meaning of good customer service. 

A Really Wonderful Thing

If you've read this blog before, you'll know that I don't have much hope for this here world. Somehow, we're on this sort of spiraling coaster where we know what the problems are, we know ways that we can begin to mitigate them, but we refuse to take one step outside of our normal routines in order to save whats left of this planet. This makes me endlessly sad, and might be one of the biggest reasons that I hate people. (Especially you fuckers who ask for everything in a 'to go' cup).


Today, for once, I saw something that made me truly hopeful, with the tiny glimmer or an idea that perhaps someday, the earth won't have to be gang raped on a daily basis by people who think "bottled water is healthier."

FUCK YES! suckas better start bringing those bags in.  If looking at pictures just isn't your thing, let me tell you that starting in September, plastic bags are illegal in Santa Monica. Mother fucking illegal, yo. Now lets just get to the rest of LA.

Metal Galaxy

Metal and outer space... my favorite combination.

More than usual, I've been obsessing over the movie Heavy Metal. Perhaps because its no longer available to watch instantly on Netflix and so I'm longing for it. If you're reading this and you haven't seen Heavy Metal, run to your local video store (if they haven't already gone out of business) and watch this movie immediately. It will completely rock your world. Or maybe it just did to mine, as I really wish life could just be that film. Imagine killing aliens while Sabbath plays in the background; perfect world? I think yes.

images via tumblr, facebook, googleimages

Green & Wood

Last Friday, I ventured to the Dark Horse Saloon in downtown to see a pretty fantastic show. First off, this venue is amazing. Small, but amazing. The decor was a mix of gothic, burlesque, and over the top (glittery) dungeon, with a stage that I really should've taken a picture of.
Earthless, one of my favorite psychedelic metal bands, headlined that night, and, of course, their show was unreal. Over an hour long set comprised of four (yes, four) songs. Because Earthless rocks that hard.

But I knew that one was coming. What I didn't know, was that I would fall in love that night, with Magda, the insanely hot, talented, totally badass guitarist of Green & Wood, one of the bands that played before Earthless.

All images taken from Green & Wood Facebook Page

New girl crush? Check. Ozzy-esque Vocals? Check. Heavy psychedelic dronings? Check.

Might have a new band to adore...

Sleep @ the Wiltern 6/26/11 - A Review

"If they play Dopesmoker the whole way through... I'd die. And come. At the same time."

I guess, in retrospect, its good they didn't, since I'm still here. For those who aren't die-hard Sleep fans, let me enlighten you to the monolith that is Dopesmoker. This track, originally written in 1995, was released three years later as a more mainstream-appropriate song, cut 5 minutes short and titled "Jerusalum." In 2003, Sleep released the original Dopesmoker, 63 minutes of what is often regarded as the heaviest song ever. Lyrics are few and far between, and describe an epic pilgrimage through Israel for none other than weed. 

If you've got an hour to spare, (and you do, for this) lay back and listen to Dopesmoker, I guarantee it'll alter something in your musical world. After listening, try to imagine seeing it live. Obviously, as it was first played more than 15 years ago, the sound has changed a bit. All the instruments are just as heavy, and the drummer currently playing with Sleep, Jason Roeder of Neurosis, does a great job of recreating the original sound of this drum-lead track. The only thing that I think has changed significantly is Al Cisnero's voice. It'd have to be considered a true miracle if his voice was the same throughout decades of singing, drinking, and of course, takin' bong rips. The pure heavyness of the vocals in the recorded Dopesmoker is replaced by a wonderfully strange, syncopated, higher-ptiched voice of what might be considered pure evil. Both work for me, Al, so keep on with that crazy singing.

But lets get back to the original point of this post: the show. It begins, as always, with Al and Matt on stage, tuning guitars, practicing riffs, and then just droning, easing in to the first song of the show: Dopesmoker. Needless to say, I'm beyond stoked, especially when they keep playing past the part they would usually end a segmented version of this song. The hypnotic power this song has over fans in incredible, everyone's in a trance, bangin' heads at exactly the same time, knowing without question the next riff, anticipating that awesome moment where drums come in and the song gets really fucking heavy. From my not so reliable calculations, the marijuanauts, as they refer to themselves, played the first 20 minutes of dopesmoker before moving on to the rest of the set. 

1 - Dopesmoker

2 - Holy Mountain

3 - Dragonaut

4 - Antarcticus Thawed

5 - Aquarian

6 - From Beyond

7 - Nain's Baptism

8 - Sonic Titan

9 - The Druid

10 - Dopesmoker

I couldn't have imagined a better set, unless they decided to play their Sabbath covers, which, fun fact, Ozzy once commended as the best Black Sabbath covers released, particularly Snowblind. Holy Mountain was amazing, and, at both Sleep shows I've been to, you can tell who doesn't really know Sleep, as they'll start cheering 3 minutes into the song, when it appears to be over, only to come back slowly and heavily, until the epic climax. Dragonaut might be Sleep's most popular song, with its catchy opening riff and satisfying conclusion. The crowd went wild for this song, leading someone to scream "play it again motherfuckers" afterward. Good thing they didn't play it again, since they left time for so many more awesome songs, which I could continue to verbally (typographically?) fellate, but instead I'll leave you with the knowledge that they were all amazing, especially Sonic Titan and The Druid, which just fucking own me musically.

The thing I loved most about this show was the amazing Dopesmoker sandwich they had going, starting with the first 20-ish minutes of the song, and ending the show with the last 5 minutes of it. Truly awesome riff-age, more than worth the fact that I couldn't hear for a while after.

And since I'm just a whore for merch, I had to pick up a poster and some stickers, one of which will soon by adorning the back end of my dinged-up civic.

Lastly, to give you a little taste of the legend that is Sleep, and to make Steve Jobs proud of the mic quality of the iphone:

 

I never would've imagined, when I first started listening to Sleep, that I would've been able to see them live, not once, but twice. Hopefully this trend continues, and my favorite dirtbags return to LA again next year. Thanks, guys, for the two best shows I've ever seen, and keep on going hard.

A Challenge thats Only Hard for Me.

As a few people know, I just had a little birthday happen to me. This shouldn't mean anything, and really, it doesn't. Everyone you know was born, so is there a reason to celebrate something that isn't special at all? Perhaps the specialness (didn't think that was a word, but spellcheck is down with that shit) of birthdays lies in the fact that they are the single thing everyone, fucking everyone, has in common. Philosophy on your ass, and you weren't even expecting it.

Beyond my feelings about birthdays, I've decided this milestone is an opportunity to change my life up a bit, so I guess I'll take it. Let me preface this insignificant change of pace with this: I LOVE MEAT. So much. I am almost positive that at one point I said I'd like to lay in a pile of ground up bacon. This still might be true, although I don't really want to fuck with PETA over that. But all joking aside, I am a voracious carnivore. And never have I even considered limiting my meat intake, as I once considered it the bane of my existence.

To most, what I plan on doing is easy, and really nothing to write about, but moderation isn't by best skill, so this is a big deal for me. As of yesterday, I will only be consuming meat at a maximum rate of once per week. Fish doesn't count, obviously, gotta get them Omega-3s. Most likely, this dose of meat will either be brisket from my work, or a double double at In N Out.

This isn't about the animals, and its not about any retarded weight-loss bullshit. For a week last december, my roommate challenged me to go vegan. This wasn't the most pleasant experience, as I struggled to consume enough calories every day, but the absence of meat made me feel significantly lighter, higher energy, and healthier. (oddly enough). So here goes some good old discipline, not entirely cutting something out of my life, but learning to enjoy it only in moderation, like a healthy fuckin adult.


Holy hell.